My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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