yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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