never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
