It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
