some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
