There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
