i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Randomize
