the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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