it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize