I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
