R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
