I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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