I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
