if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Randomize
