I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
