How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
