That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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