I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
The adults are the big ones right?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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