what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
