you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
