Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
