Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
