i already hear my dad disowning me
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
