the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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