I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
