Screwed.edu
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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