Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
