i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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