in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
tell me about the eggs
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
