isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I touched a dick in church today
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