I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
