i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
