i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I didn't notice because vodka
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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