Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
