My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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