It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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