Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
