I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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