Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I love you. Go after that dick
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
