they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
