My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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