why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
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I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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