i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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