i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I will pee on everything he values.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
