i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize