how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
