as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
