Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
