Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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