how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
