i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
