It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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