Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she smelled like a LAN party
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
