you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
