Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
