Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Randomize
