mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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