My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have demons in me.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
