Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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