spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
